◆First stud. : “How are a teacher and a railroad conductor alike?”Second stud. : “I don’t know. Can you tell me?”First stud. : “One minds the trains and the other trains the minds.”
◆“Aren’t you ashamed of your-self, Henry?”saidthe headmatser, ”You are the worst pupil in your class.” Henry replied, “What’s that gotto do with me?Isit my fault thatthe worst one was transferredto another school yesterday?”
◆Little Smith came home fromwith a new bookunder his arm. “It’s a prize, mother, ”he ex-plained. “A prize?What for, dear?” “For zoology. Teacher asked mehow many legs anostrich has and I said three.” “But an ostrichhas only two legs.” “I know it now. But all the pu-pils said four, so I was closest.”
◆An absent-min-ded professor was lecturing on anatomy. “To show you more clearly what I mean, I have here a parcel with a dissected frog. I want you to ex-amine it very carefully.” The professorunwrapped the parcel and saw that it contain-ed two sandwich-es and a boiled egg. Astonished, theprofessor said: “I was sure I hadeaten my lunch, but where is thefrog?”
◆First stud. : “What did you do with the cuffs I left on the table last night?”Second stud. : “They were so soiled I sent them to the laundry.” First stud. : “My gods, the entire history of England was on them.”
◆A son at colle-ge wrote his father: “No mon, no fun, your son. “The father an-swered: “How sad, too bad, your dad.”
◆“Say, dad, reme-ber that storyyou told me about when youwere expelled from college?” “Yes.” “Well, I was just thinking, dad, how true it is that historyrepeats itself.”
◆“Where have you been for the last four years?”“At college taking medicine. ““And did you finally get well?”
◆The much pre-occupied profe-ssor walk intothe barber’s shop and sat in a chair next to a woman who washaving her hairbobbed. “Haircut, please, ”ordered the professor. “Certainly, ”said the barber. “But if you really want a haircut would you mind taking off your hat first?” The professorhurriedly re-moved his hat. “I’m sorry, ”heapologized as helooked around.” Ididn’t know there was a lady present.”
◆Teacher: “Didn’t Henry help you to this sum?”Pupil: “No.” Teacher: “Are you sure he didn’t help you?”Pupil: “No, he did not help me, he did it all.”
◆Teacher: “What do you call the last teeth we get?”Pupil: “False teeth.”
◆Geog. teacher: “What have the expeditions to the North Pole accomplished?”Pupil: “Nothing execpt to make the geography lessons harder.”
◆Teacher: “What animal is sa- tisfied with the least nou- rishment?”Robert: “The moth , teacher. It eats nothing but holes.”
◆“What he shapeof the earth?”asked the tea-cher of Jane. “It’s round, ”Jane said. “How do you know it is round, Jane?” “Oh, it’s square. I don’t want tostart an argu-ment about it.”
◆A school tea-cher who had been telling a class of smallpupil the story of the discoveryof America by Columbus endedwith: “And all this happened more than 500 years ago.” A little boy, his eyes wide open with wonder, said after a moment’s thought: “Gee!What a good memory youhave got.”
◆Teacher: “What are the pro- ducs of Cuba?”Boy: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Come, come!Where do you get sugar from?”Boy: “We borrow it from the next-door neighbour.”
◆Teacher: “The earth has an attractive power;that power is known as gravity. It is, in fact, the law of gravity which prevents us from being thrown off the earth as it revolves.” Pupil: “Please, teacher, how did we keep on the earth be- fore the law was passed?”
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